Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Prayer from Someone Failing At Her Job Search


Prayer from Someone Failing at her Job Search.

Aloud I cry to you, Lord God of the Universe,
Loud I cry, and listen for your voice.
For you will not abandon me, you will not desert me,
You and you alone will beside me in every hour of my need.
Oh, that I were Elisha in the temple, that I might hear you!
That I were a prophet of old, that I might know your way for me!
I have sat in your temple and listened, and heard nothing –
I have sought you in the woods, and in the mountains, and you have kept hidden from me.
I have lost the path, I have stumbled. There are rocks in my way and I cannot move them.
You have sent wise council to speak to me – in their voices I hear the beating wings of angels,
And in the echoes the temptations of the false prophets, and of pride.
To them I cannot speak of my distress! You alone know it – you alone will do right by me.
Would that the way were straightened, God, and the road smooth, and easy to make out.
Would that I did not travel by night, and the Sun of your goodness could guide me.
I am beset with evils – desperation sits at one shoulder, and on the other is despair.
How am I to use the gifts you gave me, God? Who will hear your handiwork in my words and in my deeds?

Aloud I cry to you, Lord God of the Universe,
Loud I cry, and listen for your voice.

--

So I was passed over --twice -- for another job today. I'm not sure what to make of this. I don't know whether to even continue trying to apply for jobs as an educator, despite everything everyone tells me about how well I teach or interact with visitors or anything else. Everything in  my life right now seems to be saying that if I ever want to get anywhere in life  (as in, out of my parents' house) I should just pack it in and get a real person job in Visitor Services or something.

I decided to take the experience and try and make something good from it, so I sat in my car for a good five minutes when I got home and prayed, and this is what came of it. The act of writing a prayer, as I think I've remarked before, is simply the act of praying the prayer, over and over, until it resonates the right way. 

I was trying to figure out if I should tell my mother I didn't get the job a second time. 

I'm still not sure.


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