Thoughts on NBC’s Crusoe

(An alternative title considered for this post was "Let's Po-Mo the Mo-Fo!" but I didn't think many readers would approve. I, on the other hand, found it hilarious, and felt like sharing it anyway.)

So NBC debuted their new fall series Crusoe, and I, like many period piece aficionados, was very excited. I had the premiere date written on my calendar since I found out about the show, because I, like many other women in my age bracket, find most of the male cast of this show undeniably hot.

Now who DOESN'T want a piece of that?

But unlike most of the other women who tuned in on Friday night, I took the time to read the source material first, because I am an English Major, and I can do things like that. I wrote a killer, kick-butt blog post when I finished reading Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe back in September, and then Blogger deleted it in a series of unfortunate and regrettable events, so I’m starting over from scratch.

First off, I’d like to point out that the copy of Robinson Crusoe I was reading was last checked out of our library in 1970, so it’s not as though this book is making the rounds. Daniel Defoe is not Stephanie Meyer, if you know what I mean. In fact, he’s not even Samuel Jonson, whose book is just about as boring and still gets use. (That’s Samuel Jonson’s DICTIONARY, for you bibliophiles in the crowd) Defoe’s tale is full of self-righteousness and morality, and his protagonist is a Puritanical merchant who, despite the fact that he’s trapped on an island, decides he’s going to institute a rigorous work ethic, tame the wilderness, and never drink the rum he’s been left with unless it’s an emergency.

(I considered writing a fanfic where Jack Sparrow gets marooned on this same island and he and Crusoe have a terrible arguement, but then I realized no one aside from me would find that funny, and I demurred.)

Basically, he’s a stick in the mud who doesn’t remember how to live a little. And you wonder, after reading this story with Crusoe’s religious conversion of sorts and his detailed descriptions of what went on every day (“Today I caught a goat and plan to find another to make a herd…”), how on earth is NBC going to make this into a TV show that people are actually going to want to watch?

I’ve answered that question already – make Crusoe undeniably hot even after he’s been marooned on this island for years, scrap the idea that he’s going around in a weird hat made out of goatskin (a la the illustration here) and make his house the most awesome place on the planet. (Did you see his juicer? It was the BOMB! I want to get myself stranded on his island just to make him OJ in the morning!)

But after you’ve solved the problem of making the protagonist sexy, there’s still that nagging issue of plot. That one’s also simple – Add pirates! Make no never mind that the pirates in Defoe don’t come in until the last hundred pages.

In short, it was a post-modern extravaganza of updating and tweaking. No longer does Crusoe merely eek out his living on the island, waiting for a ship to one day enter his little world – he’s actively campaigning to get off and return to his lovely wife, Susannah. Friday’s been updated, too – he’s not just a savage who doesn’t know how to speak in complete sentences, but a great friend and companion for Crusoe, to the point of brotherhood, and a linguistic genius who ‘took six months’ to learn English and ‘can make himself understood’ in 12 different tongues. This Friday really is the embodiment of that great and lasting friendship that scholars seem to think exists between Crusoe and Friday, and he really is Crusoe’s equal, on occasion even his superior, saving his life and pointing out, in his witty, endearing way, that sometimes Crusoe does some pretty stupid stuff. (Did I mention Friday’s pretty hot as well? NBC did a good job casting this thing – Even Crusoe’s dad, the indomitable Sean Bean --one of my first celebrity crushes-- is looking pretty fine.)

It’s interesting to observe what needs to be changed to make the story resonate with today’s modern viewers. Morals don’t play a role in this tale as much as they do in Defoe’s version, and the work ethic that he so carefully outlines with the daily toils of his narrator never seemed to enter the picture in NBC’s version. Crusoe needs a reason to get off the island, so he’s married off to the daughter of a prosperous cooper. Friday can be the post-colonial black guy and be smart for a change, and of course, because Crusoe is on an island must mean he’s having adventures instead of wrangling sheep or talking to his volleyball friend named Wilson.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m glad they changed it. Crusoe is much more enjoyable without that silly hat and the ridiculous beard. The pirates are funny, and add interesting dimension to the narrative. Reading the original Friday was painful to my 21^st century sensibilities, and Tongai Chirisa’s rendering is much cooler to listen to and watch. (And did I mention he's good looking? Becuase the thought did cross my mind once or twice.)

So after a few episodes, you’ll probably see a little notice on this blog saying that I have post modernized the post modern Crusoe and have begun writing a fanfic of some kind. It’ll probably make Defoe turn over in his grave, but somehow, I’m okay with that.

At least I’m not writing fanfic on Jonson’s Dictonary.